2026/09 - Where there are six cooks, there’s nothing to eat
Everyone knows that Switzerland is small. Many know that, despite its small size, three different languages are spoken there: German, French and Italian. Few know that, in reality, four are spoken. There’s also ‘Romansh’. But very few people speak it. Anyway. In Switzerland, different languages are spoken. That’s why we rely on multilingual regulations. Everyone’s happy. The problem is the titles. They have to suit everyone. In German, French and Italian. Which is why, often, when three parties are arguing, the fourth one wins. No, not Romansh. But English. There are, however, places that couldn’t care less about our multilingual constraints. Take Poland, for example. Which has ditched our mundane English titles in favour of the more charming Polish ones. A language of which, until yesterday, I knew only the words Lewandowski and Boniek. Yet I’ve discovered it’s full of beautiful expressions. Like ‘it’s not my circus, they’re not my monkeys’ to say it’s none of my business. Like ‘throwing peas at the wall’ when someone won’t listen. Or like the title of this chapter.
METEO has become TAKI MAMY KLIMAT. Which means ‘what can you do, this is the weather we’ve got’, a lovely way of saying that that’s just the way things are, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
WOOL STREET has become LOWCA TRENDOW. Which means “trend hunter”. Moving away from English makes sense. Although I reckon “trendow” still has some English roots.
BLUE PENGUIN has become KOLEJNO ODLICZ. Two words. My first thought is that it must mean ‘blue penguin’ in Polish. But no. It means ‘countdown’, ‘counting in order’ or ‘taking the roll call one by one’. Depending on the machine translator. I fail to see the relevance to the theme. But in reality, it’s just envy of those who can afford poetry.